Look Hahhhdahhh.

I am very sleepy. But I have a thought.

That part of The Lion King when Rafiki is trying to show Simba his reflection and how his dad lives on in him and there’s lots of liony emotional baggage. I was thinking about this ri’ now.

I go back and forth on my view of myself. Most of the time I think I am a freaking catch. Lots to offer, and basically quality stuff. Then, I also get down on myself (not in the ‘do a little dance’ way, the self esteem issue way) and see me through the warped and fallen world’s eyes and see no worth. Lies, because I am worth something just by the mere fact that Jesus thinks so and He’s great and makes good life decisions.

So, betwixt this dichotomy of self-image, the dance between self-infatuation and self-loathing, I sometimes arrive at the conclusion that I am great, but it is hard to notice. Hence, the Rafiki reference. I’d like to go up to people that I see so much worth in that don’t seem to reciprocate, grab them by the upper arms and shake, adamantly and imperatively quoting this line to their face. “LOOK HAHHHDAHHH. Look into me and see what God sees. Ignore all the marks and bumps and wear on this person-suit my soul wears, and see the Being within. I see yours and I really like it. Your suit is also dead sexy, but that’s a different and more carnal point that I am not trying to make and actually trying to avoid making and I shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.” Maybe I’d paraphrase that… but you get the gist.

Anyway, just thought that as I was doing the evil act of comparison whilst looking through the book at photos of people and things.

No head shrinking of myself tonight. I am le tired.


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